To Be With You Forever
by Cezz2010
Summary: The 2nd part in the trilogy following the story of Emily Dawson. If you haven't already please read the 1st part - Time Stole Your Love From Me. "I want the world to know how I feel about you, that I want to be with you forever"
1. Chapter 1

******A/N: The second part of my trilogy following the life of Emily Dawson. If you haven't already, you should read the first part called Time Stole Your Love From Me, it will explain how Emily fits into the world of Harry Potter. This is set just before Order of the Phoenix. Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

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**To Be With You Forever**

Emily sighed and put the paper back down on the table, she stood up and paced over to her bookcase. She was desperate to immerse herself in a good story, anything to shake off the bad feelings that were growing in the pit of her stomach. He was back. She knew it, and she knew that the deaths would not stop yet. As she settled back in her seat with her battered copy of Jane Austen, the door opened, and in walked her father. He was carrying a tray and on it stood a pot of coffee. She looked up at him and he smiled at her.

"Your mum thought you might like some coffee Emily" He placed the tray onto the table and slid it towards the middle of the table.

"Thanks Dad"

Her dad made to leave the room, before he stopped and turned to face her, this time, he was not smiling. "Emily... this boys death?"

Emily sighed before answering. "Cedric?" Her father nodded. "How did it happen?"

"He's back Dad" Her father frowned at her words. "I thought 'he' had been killed? That night poor Lily died?" Emily looked down at the paper, and back at her dad. "He was defeated, but not killed Dad. I guess we all kind of knew he would be back. One day. If Harry says that He is responsible for Cedric's death, then I believe him"

Her dad turned and slowly shuffled out of the room, Emily turned back to her book, but the words jumbled into one another. She couldn't concentrate on it. Sighing she shut the book with a snap. She stood up and walked over to the window, the sun was shining, desperate to keep the early autumn chill away. She loved this village. Deciding to go for a walk to clear her head, she grabbed her coat and headed outside. As she walked along the winding road, she smiled and nodded 'hello' to the passing people she met. Heading for her favourite piece of grassland, she looked back at her parent's house. She had to admit, in the current situation, she was afraid for her parents.

Sitting down under a great Oak tree, she closed her eyes and began to think of ideas, of what to do should the time come. Suddenly she was stirred from her thoughts.

"I have to say, you look awful in Muggle clothing" She looked up and her eyes fell on Severus Snape. His face held an unusual smile, which disturbed Emily more by it's apparent genuineness. She braced herself on the tree and stood up in order to meet his gaze. "Whereas you should make an effort to wear them Severus... when you're... out for a walk?"

His smile widened. "I must admit, I'm surprised that you are here Emily. I didn't think you saw much of your parents any more?" Emily started at the mention of her parents. "Just because I do not advertise my whereabouts at all times, does not mean I neglect my duties as a daughter Severus"

She gazed off in the direction of their house.

"I meant no offence Emily, it's just that I was not expecting to see you here. I thought you would be with your... friends" Emily looked at him, her eyes squinted at him. 'What is he up to?' She asked herself. She decided to play it cool. "My friends?"

Now was Severus' turn to squint his eyes at her. She had kept up her Occlumency training. She was totally unreadable.

"How is Remus?"

"The last I heard, he was fine" Emily was avoiding Severus' gaze. She knew what was coming next.

"And... Sirius?"

Emily looked at him, her eyes were filled with anger. "Why do you want to know?" Severus looked shocked, but Emily could see it was fake. "I was merely inquiring as to their health"

"And their whereabouts?"

Severus raised an eyebrow at her. "I know where they both are Emily, it surprises me, that you do not" Emily looked at him, confusion written all over her face. Quickly she composed herself. "I'm sure that they will inform me, when it is necessary for me to know. We do not need to be attached to one another constantly, regardless of what you may think!"

With this said, Emily started to walk back towards her parents house, and away from Severus. He always had a way of infuriating her beyond words and reason. Which she suspected he always would. As she walked away she heard his voice floating towards her. "There will be a meeting soon, Dumbledore will tell you where and when it will be"

Emily carried on walking, not acknowledging his words, but she had heard him. 'A meeting?' So Dumbledore was putting the Order back into place already. As she entered the village, she headed towards the post office, she was craving some Lemon Bon-Bons. After purchasing some she was accosted by Mrs Reynolds, and proceeded to have a lengthy conversation about where she had been for so long. Finally satisfying the old woman that she was, in fact, a very devoted daughter, she headed towards her parents house. Walking through the door, she felt like she had just entered an alternate universe. For the first time in her life, her mother and father were bickering, until they suddenly saw Emily. Her mother stepped forwards.

"You have a visitor Emily"

Emily looked confused. "I do?"

Her mother pointed into the living room, she didn't look happy. Emily headed through the door after whispering a 'Thank you' to her mum. As she walked through the door, she knew why her mum had not been happy. The room looked a mess, and there stood proudly in the mess, was Professor Dumbledore. He smiled as he saw her, and quickly swept her into an embrace. "Emily, my child, it's so good to see you"

"And you Professor"

Dumbledore broke the embrace to look into her eyes. "You are no longer a student or teacher Emily, you may call me Albus" Emily smiled. "Bad habit, sorry Prof... Albus" Dumbledore smiled at her and walked towards the window, chuckling at the sight of some children trying desperately to fly a kite.

"Um... Albus... why exactly have you come?"

"I wanted to make sure that you were OK Emily, has anyone contacted you?"

"I've not heard from Remus or Sirius, if that's what you mean?"

Dumbledore shook his head. "No, no. That's not what I mean..." He looked at Emily over the top of his glasses. Suddenly she realized what he had meant. "No... no one has contacted me"

"Good. Well, there is a meeting tonight Emily. Here are the details you will need" Dumbledore passed her a folded piece of paper. "Now I must go Emily, a lot of things to do. I suspect you've heard about Harry?"

Emily looked up with a start. "Heard what about Harry?" Dumbledore shook his head. "It'll be better explained later, at the meeting" He turned and walked towards the fireplace, before saying, in a mischievous tone. "Would you be so kind as to clean up Emily. I fear I may have upset your mother with my entrance"

Emily smiled. "Of course Albus"

As she watched Dumbledore floo back to his office at the school, she unfolded the paper and saw where the meeting would be held. 'Sirius' She thought with a smile. There it read.

_**'12 Grimmauld Place'**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

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Emily was late, and it was her mother's fault. Her words were still ringing in Emily's head. 'I want you to leave the Wizarding World Emily' Emily shook her head, she had known her mother did not approve of her magic for many years, ever since Lily had been killed. Emily had not said anything in reply, and had left her mother and father standing in their hallway as she had said her goodbyes.

Emily was now standing outside number 12, and it had started to rain. Taking a deep breath she slowly climbed the stairs and knocked on the door. After two minutes the heavy door creaked open and there was Molly Weasley with a bright smile on her face. She looked at Emily, and saw that she was covered in a light sprinkling of rain.

"Oh Emily dear, come in, come in!" Molly quickly swept Emily into the hallway, where she quickly hugged her as a welcome. "It's good to see you dear"

"It's good to see you too Molly!"

Molly started to lead the way down the hall, Emily slowly followed, eyeing all of the many portraits that lined the walls. Molly turned to look at Emily. "Now, let's get your coat off, dreadful weather... absolutely dreadful"

Emily handed her coat to her, and as she stepped forwards, accidentally knocked the umbrella stand. As she quickly stooped to pick it up, there started a screaming and shouting. "Filthy Mudbloods! Blood Traitors! In my house! In the House of Black!"

Molly stood shocked, Emily however just turned to the portrait of Walburga Black. "Shut up!" And Emily quickly closed the curtain used to cover the portrait. Molly came forward. "I'm so sorry dear, I've told him he should get rid of that awful thing..."

"Well, that awful thing is my mother..."

Emily smiled and stepped around Molly, into view. "Yes a mother who felt the need to burn her own son off the family tree... I agree with Molly's sentiments"

Sirius wore an infectious smile, he looked a thousand times better than she remembered. He looked healthy, but more importantly, happy. Emily walked towards his open arms and fell into the deepest embrace with him. Molly quickly swept past muttering apologies under her breath, causing Sirius to chuckle lightly. When they were alone in the hallway, he kissed her on her head. "I've missed you Patch"

Emily breathed in deeply, his scent was intoxicating. "I've missed you too Sirius. And you look fantastic! You've been looking after yourself, you look healthy and happy. I would have liked to have seen you before now but..." Emily stopped talking and frowned at Sirius who had started to chuckle lightly at her. "What's so funny?"

"You"

Emily raised an eyebrow, she tried to stay serious, but failed as a small smile spread across her lips. "Tell me, how am I funny?" Sirius said nothing, he just put his hands on her face and pulled her towards him gently. He gently kissed her on the lips. "Has anyone ever told you, you talk too much?" His eyes sparkled at her, as he placed a hand on her lower back and pulled her closer still. Emily felt the colour rushing to her cheeks, at the close proximity she found herself at with him. She closed her eyes as he gently kissed her again, this time with more passion, she slid her hands behind his neck and returned the kiss. Finally they were together.

"I hate to break off this perfectly romantic moment... but we do have a meeting. Which you are late for Emily!" Sirius and Emily stopped kissing and turned to see Alastor Moody staring at them with a half grin on his face. His magical eye spinning around in it's socket. Sirius grinned. "Not jealous are you Moody?" This comment only earned a snort from Alastor, who quickly turned and swept back into the room behind them. Emily chuckled, turning to Sirius, who gently pecked her on the lips. "Come on then, before he starts getting angry"

"Or we start to feel nauseas" Severus quickly swept past them and into the room after Mad-Eye, Emily frowned after the man. "I forgot he would be here" Sirius put his arm around her and squeezed her shoulder gently. "If it was my choice he wouldn't be, but it's not. Don't worry, as soon as the meeting is over, he'll be gone. I promise"

Emily smiled at Sirius, his face wore a look of seriousness. They walked into the room to find the other members of the Order, some sitting, some standing. On seeing Remus, Emily rushed over to him and hugged her friend. Pulling away she examined him closely, he bore a few fresh scratches on his face, she ran her hand over one of the deepest ones on his cheek. "Are taking care of yourself Remus?"

Remus smiled and looked deeply into her eyes. "Always Em"

Emily smiled and hugged Remus again, turning back to Sirius, who looked extremely uncomfortable at the display of affection between his two friends. Emily looked down at the floor, she had not realised how it must look to Sirius. She walked over to him and smiled, trying to tell him silently that she was just worried about a friend. He smiled in return, but she saw the hurt in his eyes. They settled themselves around the table, awaiting the start of the meeting. Emily sat next to Nymphadora, who Emily saw out the corner of her eye was watching Remus. Severus sat at the farthest end of the table, wearing a pained look, if Emily didn't know better, he really didn't want to be there.

Alastor cleared his throat and proceeded to start the meeting. "Dumbledore has a special request of you Emily"

Emily's heart sank, she knew what it was. And she knew that Sirius was not going to like it, not one little bit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

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"I absolutely forbid it Emily!"

Emily snorted, and span around to face Sirius. "Forbid it? You forbid it? I hate to tell you this Sirius, but you are in no position to forbid me to do anything!"

It had been an hour since the meeting had finished and all the members of the Order had left, leaving Emily, Sirius and Remus alone in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place. Emily watched Sirius pacing furiously back and forth, she had known he wouldn't like what Dumbledore was asking of her, but this reaction had shocked her. Remus was stood behind Emily, he had stayed relatively quiet during their heated discussion, but now he decided to speak up.

"Perhaps Sirius, it would be better to sleep on it?"

Sirius turned and stared at Remus, his eyes showing a deeper anger than necessary. "What?" Remus took a few steps back, afraid of his friends reaction. Emily however was not in such a pacifying mood. "Don't you dare start on Remus! He hasn't done anything wrong, he's the only one talking sense right now!" Sirius' eyes narrowed. "I might have known you would rush to protect him"

"Well I'll protect him from you!"

Remus put his hand out to touch Emily's shoulder, Sirius growled. Remus ignored him and turned Emily to look at him. "I'm going home Emily, I think you two need to talk alone" Emily nodded, and watched as Remus looked at Sirius before shaking his head and leaving. Emily turned to face Sirius, her eyes flashed with anger. "What the hell was that about?"

Sirius kicked at a chair and snorted. "You think I don't know what's going on between you two?" Emily frowned at him. "Tell me... what exactly is it, that you think is going on between us?"

"Don't do that Emily"

"Do what? I just asked you a question!"

Sirius slammed his hands onto the table. "I saw you Emily! The way you both looked at each other! That was NOT the look of friends... it was..." He turned away from her. "It was the look of lovers"

Emily stood open mouthed, looking at Sirius' back. She stepped forwards until she could reach out to him. "Sirius?" He turned to look at her, his eyes were filled with tears. "I should have known that 12 years was too long. I understand that you found comfort with Remus, everyone always said you two would be better suited..."

Emily put her arms around Sirius, she could feel tears in her eyes. "Sirius, me and Remus are just friends, nothing more. I couldn't betray you like that... please don't doubt my love for you" Sirius said nothing in reply. Emily looked into his eyes. "Please Sirius?"

Sirius smiled at her, and she saw that it was heartfelt. Suddenly he knelt down in front of her, taking one of her hands in his. Emily half smiled at him. "Sirius, what are you doing?" He looked at her smiling, although she could see he looked slightly nervous. "Something I should have done a long time ago. James always said I was a coward, but now I'm going to prove him wrong..." He took a deep breath and continued. "Emily Dawson, I love you. I have always loved you, from the moment I met you. I have not always done the right thing, I have made a lot of mistakes. But I plan to make up for that..."

Emily felt her cheeks beginning to flush. Sirius had never been one for sentimentality.

"Will you marry me Emily?" Emily closed her eyes, for so long she had hoped and prayed to hear those words from Sirius. She knelt down, taking his face in both her hands. "Yes" Sirius smiled so wide. "Thank you" He lent his head against hers.

Suddenly Emily started to laugh, Sirius looked at her with a puzzled expression. "If James called you a coward, I can only imagine what Lily said!" Sirius started to chuckle. "If memory serves correct, she called me a 'confirmed bachelor' and if I didn't marry you soon, then she would no longer speak to me!" Emily couldn't stop laughing, imagining Lily scolding Sirius. Sirius suddenly stood up, holding his hand out for hers.

He helped her to stand, pushing a few strands of her hair behind her ear. "So, about this request of Dumbledore's?" Emily looked away. "Must we talk about that now? I'm tired Sirius..." Sirius eyes glinted with mischief. "Tired? Really?"

He suddenly started to tickle Emily, who screamed and made a run for the hallway, laughing as Sirius made chase. All of a sudden there started the usual screaming from Walburga's portrait, as the curtain flew open. "Filthy Mudblood in the house of my fathers!" Sirius stopped by the portrait, and smiled at his mother. "Oh do shut up mother!" Closing the curtain, he looked up at Emily, who was stood on the stairs. "She'll have to get used to you being here, after all this is your home too now"

Emily smiled at her 'future husband'. It felt strange to say that. He climbed the stairs, taking her hand and leading the way to his room. Stopping outside the door, he turned to look at her. "I really do love you Patch" Emily touched his cheek. "And I you"

He opened the door to his room and Emily walked in, she stood in amazement at the array of Gryffindor banners and paraphernalia decorating the room. "I guess you did perfect the Permanent Sticking Charm then?" Sirius chuckled. "Yes, my mother was fuming when she realised what I had done"

Emily walked over to his dressing table, there was a picture of a young Harry whizzing around on a small broomstick, giggling. She picked it up to look at it better, Sirius came and stood behind her. "One of the last pictures Lily sent to me" His voice was filled with sadness, he placed a hand on Emily's shoulder. "My greatest regret was not being their Secret-Keeper until the end"

Emily turned to look at him. "Sirius, you were not to know of Peter's betrayal, none of us did" Sirius let out a small chuckle. "Well, you always said there was something funny about him"

"Yes, but that was because in his own way, he was creepy. But I still thought of him as a friend"

"We all did"

Emily put the picture of Harry back where it was. Turning back to Sirius, she smiled. His eyes were staring intently into hers. "Are you really tired Em?" Emily frowned at him. "Why?" Suddenly he started to grin. "Well... I'm not!" Emily lent forwards and kissed him, telling him silently that she wasn't either.


	4. Chapter 4

**Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

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Emily awoke the next morning to an empty bed. Sitting up suddenly she scanned the room, but Sirius was not there. Climbing out of bed and getting dressed, she slowly made her way down the stairs. As she neared the bottom, she heard Walburga's portrait muttering, and she saw Kreacher, Sirius' house elf cleaning the frame. She descended the final steps and stopped by the elf. Keeping her voice low and steady she spoke to him. "Kreacher, where is your master, Sirius?"

The house elf continued cleaning and did not acknowledge her words, Emily sighed. "Please Kreacher, where is Sirius?" The house elf stared at her with hatred in his eyes. "A filthy Mudblood in the noble house of Black, my poor mistress, what would she say..."

Emily sighed and walked past him, she was never unkind to Kreacher, and she could see he was not going to tell her anything. She heard him continuing to mutter under his breath, busying himself with cleaning. She knew that his life was hard, Sirius certainly had no patience for the old elf. But she knew that this was down to Kreacher's treatment of Sirius when he had been growing up. Walking into the kitchen she was surprised by the sight she saw before her. It looked like someone had been duelling in there, with the devastation that littered the room. But what shocked her the most, was the sight of Sirius cooking.

"Um... what has happened in here?"

Sirius looked up with a frown. He looked so focused on his task, that it was almost as though he didn't recognise her. "I'm cooking breakfast... obviously!" Emily raised an eyebrow at him, a slight smile on her lips. "Obviously you've never cooked breakfast before"

"Well, no, normally it's Kreachers' job. But he is in a uncooperative mood today. More than usual that is"

Sirius turned his attention back to the bacon, which was smoking dangerously. Emily shook her head and made her way over to supervise. "Would it better if I took over? I mean, I have had slightly more practice at it than you Sirius" He looked at her smiling. "Well, I was hoping that it would be a nice surprise for you. But yes, please take over!"

As Emily finished the cooking, Sirius made a start cleaning up. Soon they were sat eating their breakfast in a comfortable silence, when they had finished eating, Sirius took Emily's hand. They sat looking at one another, each of them wearing a smile, that was until Kreacher made an appearance. Sirius scowled at the house elf, who returned the look to his master and Emily. "Kreacher, what are you doing with my mother's portrait?"

"Kreacher is cleaning master"

"Well, try cleaning the rest of the house, it's a mess!"

Emily put her hand on Sirius' arm. "Sirius, leave it..."

Kreacher glared at her. "Mudbloods, Blood Traitors... my poor mistress... not in the Noble House of Black..."

"That's enough of your bile Kreacher! Emily will be your mistress soon, and you'd best start treating her better!"

Kreacher just skulked out of the room, muttering under his breath. Emily sighed. "Sirius, don't be so hard on him. It's not his fault, everything that your mother did to you. Don't blame him..."

"I'd like to do that Emily, but I fear it's already too late..."

Before Emily could say anything else, Kreacher came back in with a letter in his hand. He placed it on the table, looking at Emily. "Letter for you" He turned and walked away. "Thank you Kreacher" He turned and glared at her, before continuing out of the room. "Mudblood" He whispered as he left. Sirius made to stand up, but Emily pulled him back down to his seat. "Leave it!"

Sirius sighed. "I'm never going to win this, am I?" Emily picked up the letter, not looking at Sirius. "Nope" She turned the letter over and saw the seal, she put the letter back down on the table with a small gasp. Sirius picked it up, looking at the seal. "Already?"

Emily nodded, she could feel the tears building in her eyes. Sirius handed the letter back to her. "Best get it over with Em" Emily slowly opened the letter, dreading the words she was about to read. She took a deep breath and proceeded to read it aloud.

"_**Dear Emily,**_

_**As you are aware Dumbledore has requested that you join me at my house. I am sure that like me, this is not something that you relish. However it is our duty to the Order, and so we must both obey his wishes. I will be awaiting your arrival within the next 24 hours.**_

_**Sincerely Severus"**_

"Cheerful, isn't he?" Sirius said with pure sarcasm. Emily just dropped the letter on the table, and put her head in her hands. "I knew that this day would come, I just hoped it would be later... I'm sorry Sirius..."

Sirius shook his head and lifted Emily's face to look at him. "I'm the one that is sorry, if I had not gone away, then we would be married and this whole preposterous idea would not have been suggested"

Emily looked into his eyes. "Maybe, maybe not. Either way, it's my duty to do this. Even if I don't want to..."

"You can always say no"

Emily saw the hopefulness in Sirius' eyes. "You and I both know I can not Sirius" Sirius sighed. He felt defeated. "I know, I guess all is not quite as perfect as I hoped. In my perfect world this would not be happening"

"In my perfect world there would be no Voldemort" Sirius looked at Emily, she was looking into thin air, and he could see the change in her already, she was preparing herself for what she had to do. She turned to look at him. "Will you contact my parents Sirius? I can't face going back to the house and telling them this. My mother wants me to leave the Wizarding world completely"

"But what about your belongings? Are they not still at your parents house?"

Emily looked away. "I'll buy new" Sirius took her hand. He knew she was hurting. "Shall I tell them about us?" Emily smiled. "Of course! They will be so pleased, it'll make it... easier for them... I think..."

Later that day, Emily was standing in the hallway saying her goodbyes to Sirius. He was trying unsuccessfully to keep her there for longer. "Sirius, please. The sooner I get this over and done with, the sooner I can come back. I'll be fine, honestly. I shall write as regularly as I am able to. I promise"

Sirius admitted defeat. "I shall be thinking about you every day Emily"

"As I will be thinking of you Sirius"

They hugged one another and Emily blinked away the few stray tears that were in her eyes.

"When this is over, we shall be married. I want the world to know how I feel about you, that I want to be with you forever"

Emily smiled. "I've waited so long to hear those words" Sirius kissed her forehead in reply. "Until then Patch" Emily left the house, taking one last look at Sirius standing at the door. She missed him already.


	5. Chapter 5

**Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

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Emily was stood outside, the weather had taken a turn for the worse. She stood with her hood up on her cloak, eyeing the warm glow coming from the house, she took a deep breath. She knocked lightly on the door, and wished that she was anywhere but here. Severus opened the door ajar, spying Emily he quickly stood aside holding the door open for her. She could see by the look on his face, that he too wished she was not there. Stepping into the hallway, she saw that it was an ordinary little house, not as spacious as her parents. But she could see, it was a home. 'My home for now' she whispered to herself, as she set her bag down and started to take her cloak off.

"Welcome to my home Emily. I trust your journey was comfortable and uneventful?" Severus motioned to take Emily's cloak from her, she complied.

"It was thank you" Severus looked at her with his piercing eyes, Emily looked away from him. Severus tutted. "Well, well I suppose I must congratulate you Emily. However you will need to resume your training, if this is going to work..."

Emily had known the second he had lain eyes on her he had seen into the deepest recesses of her head. She scolded herself for not being prepared, she would not make the mistake again. Severus walked past her. "That's much better Emily. I do not want to know everything that goes on in your mind. And certainly not when it involves Sirius..."

Emily scowled at his back as he disappeared into the living room. She stood there awkwardly for a few minutes, before his voice came floating out to her. "Are you going to stay in the hallway all night? If so please turn the light off, it's distracting"

Emily sighed and made her way into the room, remembering to turn off the light as he had stated. She glanced around the room, it was like she had just walked into the Slytherin common room. The room was heavily decorated with dark greens and silvers. Along one wall stood to Emily's amazement and curiosity a large book case. Every shelf looked as though it was groaning under the weight of the books it held. Severus watched Emily's eyes wandering over the shelves, he smiled, but not enough to draw her attention. "You are welcome to read as much as you're able to. But I will request that you leave my potions books alone. If you don't mind"

Emily's eyes lit up at his permission to touch the books, she had always known Severus was extremely possessive over his belongings. Knowing that she could read the books, made her feel like this could have some positives. "That is very kind of you Severus" She smiled at him, for the first time. Severus stood frozen in one spot, caught with shock at the genuineness of it. He shook his head and left the room. Severus lent up against the wall outside of the room, gazing ahead into thin air. 'Get a grip Severus!' he silently told himself.

Emily wandered over to the book case, running her hand over all the leather bound covers. She was surprised by some of the titles that she read. He had some classics, which surprised her, wondering if he had added these since his 'change of heart' She turned her head when she heard him entering the room, he was carrying a tray with a bottle of Fire-Whiskey and two glasses. "Would you like a glass?"

Emily walked towards him. "Yes please" They sat in silence drinking, Emily was staring into the fire, Severus watched as it danced in her eyes. He finished his drink with a final gulp. "I will show you to your room Emily, and then I shall be going to bed"

Emily looked startled at the sudden break in silence. Looking over at him, she nodded. Following him upstairs, she couldn't help but notice the state of disrepair the house was in. She wondered if it had always been like this, and if not, why was it like this now. Memories of Lily talking about Severus resurfaced.

"_His father hates him, Severus, and his mother. They always argue, which seems odd to me. Don't you agree?"_

_Emily had just shrugged. "I don't know Lily. It happens in the Muggle world too..."_

"_Yes, but couldn't Severus' mother make him love her? I mean there's plenty of charms..."_

_Emily had shook her head. "Lily, you can't ever force anyone to love you... it's wrong"_

Emily was brought back to the present by Severus opening the door to what was her room. He stood there awkwardly, perhaps realising the state of the room was not exactly 'perfect'. "It's not much, but I trust you will find it comfortable"

Emily stood there looking at the wallpaper peeling from the walls, the damp spreading up the walls by the windows. She turned to him with a half smile. "I'm sure it will be fine. Thank you"

Severus snorted and walked to the room down the hall. Stopping only to bid her a good night, before sweeping into the room and closing the door behind him with a resounding thud. Emily stepped into the room, and shivered. As she sat on the bed, placing her bag next to her, she felt alone. Taking out her wand, she stared at the biggest damp of patch next to the bed.

"Evanesco" She watched with a small smile of satisfaction as the patch disappeared. Opening her bag, she took out a small framed photograph. Sirius had insisted that Kreacher take a picture of them before she had left. As she watched herself and Sirius laughing in the picture. She tried unsuccessfully to feel better in her current situation, remembering why she was here, for Harry, for the greater good. She decided that she would write to Sirius in the morning. 'Everything will work out Emily' she repeated to herself. 'If Severus can do this, I certainly can' She laid down on the bed fully clothed and closed her eyes, desperately hoping that sleep would make these bad feelings disappear, in much the same way as the damp patch.


	6. Chapter 6

**Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

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Emily awoke to a sharp knock on her bedroom door. Forgetting where she was, she sat up. "Come in!" The words had left her mouth before she had time to think, and sat there in horror as the door opened.

Severus stood in the doorway. "Breakfast is ready, if you want it... did you sleep in your clothes?" Severus' face wore a frown. All Emily could do was nod weakly. Looking at him with half a smile she said. "But I slept well"

Severus sighed and turned away, leaving Emily to listen to his footsteps receding down the stairs. As she stood up, the picture she had fallen asleep holding fluttered to the floor. Bending down, she smiled at it. Stroking Sirius' face, she set it down on the chest of drawers in the room. Heading down the stairs, Emily's nose was seduced by the smell coming from the kitchen. As she walked into the room, she saw the table had been laid and was filled with food.

"We're not at Hogwarts you know Severus..." Emily's voice held a hint of sarcasm, but Severus knew this was her sense of humour. He watched as Emily piled her plate with food.

"Did you cook all of this yourself?" Emily looked at him with suspicion.

"Yes, I did. Why?" Severus sat with an eyebrow raised, it had not been a question he was expecting from her.

"Oh nothing, just it's really good"

"And I am not good at much, I suppose?" Now it was Emily's turn to be taken by surprise. "I didn't say that Severus. You should really stop being so defensive, especially if we're going to have to spend a lot of time together"

Snape sat up in his chair, tilting his head upwards, proudly. "Well we won't be spending that much time together, as I shall be attending my normal duties at Hogwarts. Some of us have jobs to do, you know?" His words stung Emily deeply. And all they did, was to remind her of how alone she was going to be. She looked down at her plate, before returning her gaze to him.

"Severus, what am I going to do?" Severus started at the question. He knew she was scared, that she was not prepared for what Dumbledore was asking of her. That she should not have to go through this, if he wasn't already in his current situation, he would have volunteered to take her place. He lent towards her. "I have some business to attend to, I have to get the word out there, of your current residence. When I return, we will I promise, talk"

Emily watched as Severus stood up and left the room, making no sound until she heard the front door shut after him. Sighing she set about cleaning up, she had lost her appetite. After the cleaning was finished she headed into the living room, 'time to peruse the book collection' she said to herself with a smile. Silently she cheered as her hand fell on a copy of Wuthering Heights, she was always a sucker for romance novels, even if they were a little twisted. Settling herself down in front of the fire, she immersed herself into Catherine's world, and Heathcliff. As she sat there allowing time to pass, she slowly felt herself drifting off to sleep. It was gone 6pm before she was awoke with a bang of the front door, causing the book to fall from her lap.

"S-Severus...?" She uncurled herself from her seat and stepped into the hallway, only to be confronted with none other than Lucius Malfoy. "So it is true then? You decided to change sides?"

Emily shot a look to Severus who stood impassively behind Lucius.

"Don't look at him! I'm talking to you"

Emily looked at Lucius, filled with confidence at his arrogance. "Change sides Lucius? What makes you think I've changed sides at all? Perhaps I always supported the Dark Lord, did that thought ever cross your little mind?"

Emily saw the smile that spread across Severus' lips. 'Good one' she thought silently, allowing a small smirk to appear on her face. Lucius narrowed her eyes at her, before sweeping past her into the living room. "The Dark Lord will want to see you of course"

Severus motioned for Emily to go back into the room. "Of course, I never had the opportunity before. But I hear he was most eager to meet me..."

Lucius snorted. "Do not be arrogant Miss Dawson. You are a Mudblood, a fact that will not go unmentioned amongst the Death Eaters. You will be lucky if the Dark Lord does not kill you on sight alone"

Emily took a deep breath, she really hated that word. "A fact that I am well aware of Lucius. However I do not believe he will kill me on sight, I believe he may have a few questions for me first. Don't you?" Emily allowed the question to sink in, she knew that the mission would be difficult, she just hoped that Lucius believed her enough. If so, then it would be easier for her to succeed.

The look on Lucius' face told her that he did believe her, but it was quickly replaced with disgust again. "The Death Eaters will not be pleased to learn that a Mudblood will be joining us..."

"But if it is the Dark Lords wish Lucius..." Severus spoke up from the doorway, Emily looked straight at Lucius. He scowled at Severus. "The Dark Lord has been known to make foolish mistakes in the past, one of them being you. I would hate to see him making another, purely on your say so Severus"

Severus stepped into the room. "My say so?" Lucius stood taller. "Everyone knows that you whisper in the Dark Lord's ear, that you 'advise' him. I wouldn't be surprised if 'she' is another one of your ideas..."

Emily stepped forward now, anger on her face. "Are you insinuating that I am a puppet? That I do not have thoughts for myself? That I, would be under the control or coercion of one Severus Snape? I'm simply here, in his house, because I have nowhere else to go. When he learned of my feelings and the fact that they had not changed for all these years, Severus was kind enough to take me in. That is all"

Severus glanced at Emily, his eyes seemed to tell her 'well done' She had said the right thing. Lucius sighed, then pushed himself past Severus. "Then we have nothing to worry about. I shall be seeing you soon no doubt" He bowed his head and headed out of the door. As she heard it slam, Emily was finally able to breathe out. Severus headed to the window, checking to make sure that Lucius had really gone.

He turned to look at Emily, he looked slightly concerned. "Are you OK?"

"Yes I'm fine. I wasn't expecting that, and considering I've just woken up, I think I did OK... did I?" Severus smiled and nodded. "Yes. You did very well. Now we must talk, for I fear your meeting with Voldemort will take place sooner than we originally planned"

Emily sat down with Severus, and they proceeded to talk about her mission. Two hours passed as they discussed the things she would be expected to say, and not to say. But more importantly, the false images that she would have to memorise in order to convince Voldemort of her allegiance. Pausing only for a meal, they then continued their conversation. "His Legilimency skills are far greater than mine, or even yours Emily"

"I know. We did a lot to prepare for this years ago though Severus"

Severus sighed and stood up from the table. Taking a few paces forwards. "It was different then. He does not truly trust me as he once did. His skills may be greater still, I'm not sure..." He turned to look at her, he genuinely looked worried. "I don't know if you're ready for this Emily... I wish there was some other way, I really do"

Emily stood up and walked over to him, his eyes watching her curiously as she approached. "Severus, I'm as ready as I'm going to be. If I die, which I'm not ruling out, at least I'll die doing something I believed in. Trying to bring him down, once and for all. For all those he has taken away from us. Is that not why you do it?"

Severus looked down at the floor, Emily knew he still held a space in his heart for Lily. "Yes. It is" He paused for a long time, before looking at her. "You must sleep Emily, your Occlumency will be more effective if you rest as much as possible. We only have another 2 days preparation, before I leave for Hogwarts. There is much to do"

Emily nodded. "Of course. Then I shall see you in the morning Severus"

"Good night"

Emily headed up the stairs, deciding that she would write to Sirius before sleeping. She sat down and took out her quill.

_**Sirius, My Love.**_

_**I am safe and well. I have had my first encounter with Lucius Malfoy. It was not easy, but I am confident he is convinced that what I say is the truth. I am thinking about you, as always. I pray that our time apart will not be long. All of my Love Emily**_

Sealing the letter, she placed it on the chest of drawers next to the picture. She would send it tomorrow morning, if Severus allowed her use of his owl. She changed her clothes and started settling herself down into bed. She hoped that everything would go as easily as today did.

Downstairs Severus was pacing. His head was racing with so many thoughts. Emily had impressed him with her ease of conversation with Lucius, but he still had a feeling of uncertainty in the pit of his stomach. Something was going to go wrong, he just knew it. He poured himself a glass of Fire-Whiskey and quickly gulped it down. What if Dumbledore was wrong about her, what if she died as well? Severus shook the thought from his head. He would not let her die like Lily, never.


	7. Chapter 7

**Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

* * *

Later the next day, Severus' owl came back with Sirius' reply. "I do hope that you are not planning on using my owl all of the time. If he gets intervened..."

"Severus it's fine, we don't plan on using the same form of communication twice"

Severus raised an eyebrow with slight admiration at the good thinking on their part. Satisfied that his owl was safe he went on reading the paper, Emily read the letter and frowned. "Harry has his meeting tomorrow at the Ministry?" Severus looked at her from over the paper. "Yes... and?"

Emily didn't reply, but continued reading. Finishing, she stood up and placed the letter on the fire. Watching it curl in the flames, she turned to Severus. "No reason" Severus continued to watch her over the paper. "I do hope that you're not planning on doing anything stupid Emily?" Emily smiled at him. "What makes you say that?"

Severus snorted and settled himself behind his paper once more. Emily turned away from him continuing to smile. She wasn't going to do anything stupid, but she liked the fact that Severus believed her possible of planning something. Suddenly she heard a short gasp from Severus, she turned to face him. He had dropped the paper and was holding his left arm. He slowly looked up at her. "Time to go"

Emily saw a look of fear in his eyes, but it was gone as quickly as she had seen it. She walked over to him, putting her hand on top of his. "I'm ready"

Severus pulled his hand away, the sudden contact with another person, had taken him by surprise. He stood as the pain in his arm eased enough to think clearly. He held his arm out for her to hold and they apparated. When they landed, Emily saw they were in front of a large pair of gates, behind which stood a magnificent house. However she did not recognise it, turning to Severus who simply replied her silent question. "Malfoy Manor"

As they passed through the gates and walked up the long driveway, Emily took a few deep breaths. Severus turned to look at her. "Are you OK?" Emily did not look at him, instead focusing on the house. "Yes... I am"

"Good. Now is not the time to start feeling nervous Emily"

Emily smiled. "I'm not nervous. More apprehensive..." Severus snorted. "Same thing. Do not be facetious Emily. Now is not the time for it"

They came to the door, which was opened by Narcissa Malfoy. Emily had not seen her since school, and was surprised to see how aged she had become. She suspected that the presence of Voldemort was taking its toll on the once beautiful woman. Severus swept into the hallway of the great house, he exuded pure confidence. Emily couldn't help but watch with awe. 'I hope I can do the same' she thought. Narcissa led them through into a study.

As they entered the room, Emily and Severus realised it was a trap. But too late. "Crucio!" Severus hit the floor, writhing in agony. Emily stood frozen, she knew better than to interfere. She looked ahead, trying to block out the noises Severus was making next to her. "Lucius, please continue for me. I want a chat with our new little friend..."

Severus half sat up, attempting to speak. He was quickly silenced by Voldemort. "Severus, I'm simply doing this for your own good. Every lesson learned must be a painful one, otherwise nothing is learnt at all. As for you..." Voldemort stood directly in front of Emily, staring intently into her eyes. Immediately she felt him searching her mind, she allowed him to see the images she had remembered for years ago. "You my dear are incredibly interesting..."

He walked away from her for a few paces, all the time searching her mind. Emily tried harder than she had ever in her life to keep him at bay from her real thoughts. Severus was right, he really was strong. He turned to face her again, and before she had time to blink he was in her face once more. "Very, very interesting. Lucius. Stop"

Emily glanced a look to her right, and saw Lucius frown at Voldemorts order. Severus lay on the floor, his eyes closed and breathing deeply. Voldemort looked at Emily's face, she was trying not to look at Severus, but he could see she was worried about him. He sensed that much from her.

"Help him" Emily looked at him, unsure whether to do as he said. "Help him" He repeated. She swallowed slowly and keeping her eyes on him, she knelt down by Severus. She lowered her eyes to look at him, placing her hand on his back. He flinched, which caused her to flinch in turn. Slowly he opened his eyes. "I do not need your help Emily"

Emily was surprised by his comment, but soon understood when the jeering started around the room. She was being tested. It was not Severus' lesson to be learned, it was hers. She stood up, looking at Voldemort who wore an unnerving smile. "Very good. At least you didn't ask him if he was OK..."

The Death Eaters gathered all started to laugh and jeer at her.

"You see, in my experience, I have found that Mudbloods are weak. They feel sympathy for those who are suffering. You however are not like most Mudbloods. Thereby making yourself extremely interesting to me. Most interesting indeed. Do you wish to say anything to me?" Emily was not sure whether to say anything or to stay silent. Her talk with Severus about protocol had vanished, she was unsure. Then an idea hit her.

"Yes"

Voldemort walked behind her. Leaning over her shoulder as she looked ahead, he whispered in her ear. "You want to know why I wanted you all those years ago?" The hair on the back of her neck bristled. She felt a cold shiver down her spine. She nodded in reply. He lent in closer. "Because you are the most talented Mudblood I have ever seen"

Emily's eyebrow twitched upwards and she moved her head to meet his gaze. He smiled and inclined his head at her before walking away. Severus had managed to gather enough energy to stand back up. This time Emily kept her eyes forwards.

"Thank you Severus. I am pleased that you took her in. I think she will be a great asset to my cause. You may go..." Severus and Emily went to leave, before they were interrupted. "Just Severus. You stay"

Emily froze and turned to face him. She should have known it would never be that easy. Severus bowed and left the room. Emily knew that she was probably about to endure the same treatment Severus had. Voldemort stalked over to her. "It's only for a moment my dear. Show me your arm. This won't hurt and is a great honour"

Emily did as was asked of her, as Voldemort lifted his wand. She realised that she was being chosen to bear the Dark Mark. He believed her. Lucius stepped forwards nervously. "My Lord, is it wise to grant her this great honour, so soon? Perhaps it may be wise to wait until she has proven herself, as we have?" Voldemort considered his words. Looking at Emily intently once more, before replying. "Perhaps you are right Lucius..."

Emily felt him inside her mind once more. "But I believe that it is my decision, and mine alone" Emily closed her eyes to the pain she felt burning on her arm, when it had stopped she saw the Dark Mark on her arm. Secretly she was horrified at the sight of it. She looked up at Voldemort.

"Thank you My Lord. I shall not disappoint you" She bowed to him, and he bowed his head to her and smiled. "You may go now Emily"

She bowed once more before heading out of the study. Severus was standing in the hallway. They walked outside of the house in silence, and once through the gates, they apparated back to his house. Once back in his living room, Severus sat down with a groan. Emily knelt beside him, he had his eyes closed. "Are you OK?"

Severus smiled wryly. "Now you ask?" Emily smiled at him. "I'm not completely heartless Severus"

"I know" Severus opened his eyes and stared at her, he could see she was concerned. "I'm fine. Would you believe it is not the first time?" Emily sighed. "Yes. Unfortunately I would. But still, are you OK?" Severus took a deep breath. "Yes"

Emily stood up and walked over to his bottle of Fire-Whiskey, pouring two large glassfuls before heading back to him. "Drink this. It'll make you feel better" He took the glass from her. "Reading my mind now, are we?" Emily chuckled. "I learnt a few tricks today"

Severus and Emily chuckled and drank their drinks. Then Emily headed off into the kitchen to make them some food. As they finished their meal, Severus broke the silence. "You did well today Emily. Very well"

"Thank you Severus"

After a couple more moments of silence, she spoke up suddenly. "He gave me the Mark" Severus snapped his head in her direction. "Really?"

"Is it a good or bad thing?" Severus sat contemplating the question. "I can only imagine it to be good, in the sense that he must believe you. However, I am not sure..." Severus made to stand up, but groaned and gave up. Emily stood up and offered a hand to him. He eyed her hand with deep consideration, Emily sighed with frustration. "Just let me help you, unless you want to sleep down here all night?"

Severus grabbed her hand and she heaved him out of the chair, putting his arm around her neck she helped up upstairs. "I hate to tell you this Severus. But you're getting too old for all this larking about!" Severus snorted. "We are the same age Emily, and I would hardly call it larking about..." Emily started to laugh as they neared his bedroom door. "I was only joking Severus, no need to get all defensive"

As she left him at his door, she felt him grab her arm. She turned to face him, she looked confused. "Thank you Emily"

"No problem!"

Severus watched as she headed into her room, wincing as he headed to his bed. He really needed to get away from her and as soon as possible. Before it killed him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

* * *

Emily awoke the next morning and sat up in bed, she was feeling well rested. As she got up to get dressed, she caught sight of the Dark Mark on her arm. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about it or what it meant. She had never imagined that she would receive one and she really didn't want to have one. Heading down the stairs, she noticed that there was no usual sounds of Severus moving around. As she walked into the kitchen she saw a letter on the table addressed to her. She opened it up.

_**'Dear Emily, I decided to travel to Hogwarts earlier than originally planned. I will be in touch, as and when it is necessary. Severus'**_

Emily sighed and put the letter down on the table. She was truly alone now. Looking at her watch she saw that it was only 10am. 'Perhaps?' she thought with a smile. She quickly stood and grabbed her cloak and headed out of the door, she had to be quick.

It was 10:45am when Emily arrived at London's King's Cross Station, she walked over to a coffee vendor and ordered a latte. Ignoring the look on the Vendor's face at her clothing she carried on walking further into the station. There was one advantage to being Muggle-Born, and that was being able to blend into their environment perfectly. As she stood amongst the hustle and bustle of tourists, she caught sight of a man who would never be able to blend in. Alastor Moody. Heading over to him, she saw the reason of her visit, Harry. Harry caught sight of her and started smiling and waving, she smiled back. When they were close to one another a large dog appeared from behind him and jogged past them into a waiting room.

Alastor was not impressed. "Between you and Padfoot, you're drawing a lot of bloody attention to us!" Emily smiled at him and whispered through gritted teeth. "Not as much as you are Alastor, especially in that get up!" An old woman started laughing and winked at Emily. Of course, Tonks. Emily smiled and nodded her head before heading with Harry into the waiting room.

There was Sirius in his robes, smiling like a schoolboy. "Sirius, what are you doing here?" Harry went to him and gave him a huge hug. Sirius smiled before answering. "I wanted to come and see you off Harry" He then turned to Emily. "The big question, is why are you here?"

"Same answer I'm afraid" Emily grinned at him, before giving him a big hug herself. Harry sat down with them both. Sirius pulled out a picture and handed it to Harry. "I wanted you to have this Harry" Harry and Emily both looked at it, Emily started to chuckle. "Where on Earth did you find that?"

Harry looked up slightly puzzled. "What is it?"

"It's a picture of the Order Harry. The Order of the Phoenix. It was taken just as the first war was starting"

Emily continued to chuckle. "We look so young there" Sirius looked at her. "We were..."

Harry smiled and folded the picture, putting it into his pocket. "Thank you Sirius" He looked at them both. "Do you think there will be another war?" Emily sighed. "It feels like it did last time Harry" Sirius put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Yes, I think it has already begun"

There was a knock on the door, Emily looked to see Moody hovering outside. "Harry, there is something I want you to know. It will be hard for you to understand..."

"Emily, now is not the time..." Emily looked at Sirius with slight confusion. He smiled gently at her and shook his head. Harry looked from one to the other. "What? What is it?"

Sirius looked at him. "We're getting married Harry" Harry slowly smiled. "Really? Well that's great news, why would I not understand that? When? When are you getting married?"

"As soon as this is all over. She has agreed to put up with me!"

Emily laughed. "I think it's more the other way around Sirius!" They smiled at each other, before Harry embraced them both. "I can't wait until I can live with you both" Emily stroked Harry's head. "Me neither Harry. Me neither"

After saying their good byes to Harry, Emily was sat with Sirius. He held her hand. "Are you well Emily?"

"Yes"

"Is everything OK?"

"Yes"

"Would you tell me if it wasn't?"

Emily smiled at Sirius, squeezing his hand in reassurance. "Everything is going as planned Sirius"

"I miss you"

"I miss you too" Sirius lent forwards and kissed her gently. Moody and Tonks walked into the room. Tonks giggled, catching their attention. "I suppose you two think this is funny? Neither of you are meant to be here, you do realise that?"

Sirius stood up, still holding Emily's hand. "Oh lighten up would you Moody... we only came to say our good byes to Harry. What harm are we doing?"

Moody looked shocked by Sirius' words. "What harm? What harm? If anybody saw her, well the whole mission would be blown. And as for you, it's not just the Death Eaters who are looking for you, in case you'd forgotten?"

Emily stood up and put a calming hand on Sirius' shoulder, she could see he was getting angry. "I apologise Alastor. I realise it was not a wise decision on my behalf to come here. I shall leave" She turned to face Sirius, she could see the look in his eyes. He didn't want her to go.

Before anything could be said, Moody stepped forwards and grabbed Emily's left arm. "What the bloody hell is this?" He pulled down her sleeve and revealed the Dark Mark. Tonks gasped. Emily pulled her arm away from him. "I don't believe Dumbledore asked you to get that involved"

Emily swallowed nervously. She looked at Sirius who was frowning at her. "Emily?"

"I didn't ask for it OK? I had no choice, he believes my story. I didn't think he would give me this... I mean I'm Muggle-Born..."

Sirius sighed, he could see Emily was distressed with having this branded on her arm. He stepped forwards and hugged her.

"I'm sorry Sirius" Emily whispered it into his ear. He rubbed her back, feeling her crying into his shoulder. He looked at Moody who was visibly fuming. "She was asked to do what was necessary. If this was another way of infiltrating them successfully, then so be it"

Moody grumbled and stomped out of the room. Tonks walked over to them, placing a hand on Emily's back. "It'll be alright Em. I believe in you" Before Emily could say anything she quickly disappeared after her mentor, leaving Emily and Sirius alone once more.

"Did he torture you Em?" Emily shook her head against his shoulder. She lifted her head up, wiping away her tears. "He tortured Severus though, it was awful Sirius. I had to stand there and act as though I didn't care. All I kept thinking about was Frank and Alice"

"Shhhh..." Sirius tightened his embrace as Emily felt a fresh flood of tears pour down her face. "It'll be over soon. Then you can come home to me" Emily sniffed. "I can't wait"


	9. Chapter 9

**Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

* * *

It was early evening and Emily was settled in the armchair in Severus' living room. She was sat watching the fire and day dreaming, when all of a sudden she saw the fire start to move. Almost like it was breathing. Emily frowned and stood up, walking over to the fireplace to get a better look at it. She watched it intently, but nothing else out of the ordinary happened. 'Must have been imagining it' she thought to herself. As she turned around to head back to the armchair, she heard someone taking a deep breath behind her. She spun around and saw in the fireplace, Severus.

"Emily?"

Emily knelt down in front of the fire. "Severus?"

"Good, you're there. What the hell did you think you were playing at today?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Going to the train station, you could have been seen!"

Emily looked down at her knees. "I was careful Severus, I can blend into the Muggle world better than anyone else" Severus sighed. "I realise that, but you have to be careful, if you're seen to associate with the Order more than is deemed necessary... the consequences would be disastrous Emily"

"I know, but everything is fine Severus. Do not worry so much, you need to lighten up a little"

"If I was not vigilant, I would not be where I am today Emily. Remember that. Please!"

Emily sighed. "OK Severus, I promise to be more careful in future"

"Thank you. I will speak to you soon. Good Night Emily"

"Good Night" Emily watched as slowly the fire returned to it's original state. She stood up and sloped back to the armchair. She sat down with a long sigh, she knew that he was right, but she had wanted to see Harry. She was glad to have seen him, and even happier to have seen Sirius as well.

Four hours Emily awoke to a chill, shivering she realised she was still curled up in the armchair. She blinked her eyes and stretched herself out. Standing up she looked at the time, she sighed when she saw that it was only 11pm. She headed for the kitchen, desperate for a cup of tea, drinking coffee at this time would never allow her to fall asleep again. As she pottered around grabbing the things she needed, she suddenly felt an excruciating pain run down her left arm. It caused her to drop the cup she had been holding and fall to the floor. Nursing her arm, she slowly stood up. This could only mean one thing.

She closed her eyes and had the sudden urge to go back to Malfoy Manor, opening her eyes she knew that must be where he was still. She quickly put on her boots and grabbed her cloak, apparated back to the grand house. This time she found she was able to just walk straight the gates, as if they were made of smoke. Calmly walking to the door, she stood and watched as it was opened for her, turning only to see more Death Eaters arriving behind her. Narcissa led her back to the study where she had first been, Emily noticed that the woman wore a look that could only be perceived as void.

"Ah, Emily! You made it!" Emily bowed in front of Voldemort. "My Lord"

Emily stood up to see there was now a large oval table in the room. She also saw Lucius glaring at her. She nodded to him, he looked away from her. 'Prat' Emily thought to herself. Voldemort started to chuckle. "Indeed he is Emily..." Emily quickly looked at Voldemort, realising he had just read her thoughts. He however seemed extremely amused by her thoughts of Lucius. Emily allowed him to see her blush. He stood beside her. "I am interested in your thoughts on all of them"

Emily turned to him, he smiled. "In particular Severus" Emily frowned slightly. "Severus, My Lord?" Voldemort lent forwards and whispered in her ear. "Do you love him Emily?" Emily's eyes nearly popped out of her head. She stood frozen in place, unsure of what to reply.

Voldemort started to chuckle lightly. "You do not have to answer right now, and besides, I'll find out soon enough" Voldemort moved to the farthest end of the table, he turned around just to signal to her to sit down. Emily nervously took a seat, now was the time when she would either give herself away, or convince them all. Over two hours later and Emily was lucky enough to have sat through in relative silence. She was surprised to learn how much control the Death Eaters had already, she made sure to keep her feelings in check.

As the meeting came to a finish, Lucius came over to her. "Would you allow me to escort you out Emily?"

"Yes, if you wish Lucius" As they walked into the hallway, Lucius suddenly stopped. "So, are you still at Severus' house?" Emily eyed him suspiciously, but decided to see where he was heading with this. "Yes. I have no where else to go to"

Lucius shifted uncomfortably for a few moments, before clearing his throat. "Perhaps. You could come and stay here at the Manor?"

Emily tried to hide the surprise that she felt. "And why would you offer me a room here Lucius? It's common knowledge that you are not a fan of mine"

"That is not true Emily. I know that we may not have seen eye to eye on a lot of things recently. But we were not always on unfriendly terms, were we?"

Emily felt her cheeks burn slightly. "No, we were not"

"Then you will accept my family's invitation?"

Emily sighed. "I will have to think about it Lucius. But Thank you" Lucius inclined his head to her and swept off.

As Emily arrived back at Severus' house she immediately poured herself a large glassful of Fire-Whiskey. Sitting down by the fire, she couldn't help but wonder where Lucius' question had come from. Sipping on her drink she remembered his words, he was right, they had not always been unfriendly. Even though it was the start of her mission years ago, she had grown quite fond of Lucius. But when Voldemort had disappeared, she had no longer kept in contact with him. He had been upset. In a way she wondered whether it had increased his hatred of Muggle-Borns. She sighed ruefully into the room. She hated this mission, she had wished she had never agreed to it in the first place. All she wanted was to be with Sirius, laughing and joking. Instead she was sat on her own, with a Dark Mark and no friends she could talk to. She would contact Severus to see whether or not she should accept Lucius' invitation. She hoped he would say, what her mind was screaming. No.


	10. Chapter 10

**Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

* * *

Emily sat at the table in the kitchen tapping her fingers on its surface. She had sent a letter to Severus and was awaiting his reply. Suddenly a noise from the living room caught her attention, she stood up and rushed in there, her wand at the ready. As she stepped into the room she was greeted by the sight of Severus dusting off his robes. He glanced up at her and sighed when he saw her wand. "Emily, you really don't need that..."

Emily quickly put her wand away and looked at him. "Why are you here? More to the point why are using Floo Powder... again?" He smiled at her. "I asked Dumbledore to temporarily have my fireplace added to the Floo Network. I needed to speak to you Emily. Some things are best left out of letters"

He sat down in an armchair, sighing at the immediate comfort it gave him. "So Lucius has invited you to stay at his house?" Emily sighed. "Yes, what do you think I should say?" Severus looked into the fireplace. Emily could see how deep in thought he was. "I think you should say no"

Emily breathed a deep sigh of relief inwardly. Severus turned to look at her. "Especially after your thoughts were read" Emily blushed a little. "It wasn't anything bad Severus"

"Oh I know. Voldemort thought it was highly amusing. Which strengthens my view that you should decline his offer. It would do no good to say yes after you called him a prat"

Emily couldn't help but smile on hearing Severus use such a muggle word. Severus frowned slightly. "Why does that amuse you?"

"Why does what amuse me?"

"Me saying the word prat?"

Emily looked shocked. "Did you just...?"

"Yes. You're slipping Emily. Be sure to keep up your Occlumency, or we will both suffer the consequences..."

Emily knelt down in front of Severus, for the first time she could see he was still in pain. "Are you OK Severus? Are you still in pain?" He looked at her, his black eyes seemed to soften for a moment. "Yes, but I'll survive. It's not the first time, and it most certainly won't be the last"

Emily took his hand in hers, he watched her with slight curiosity. Normally people refused to touch him, but he knew that Emily was a caring person. A fact that he was grateful for at this time in his life. "I will never forget what you did for Lily. What you continue to do for Harry. Nor will I forget the kindness you have extended to me Severus. I don't deserve it really, not after everything we have been through in the past..."

Severus went to speak, but Emily stopped him. "Please, let me finish. I now realise how hard things have been for you. I realise how much you have been through, and it breaks my heart to think that you did it alone. I am grateful Severus, and I'm sorry" Emily looked at the floor, she had meant every word of it. She hoped that he believed her.

"I'm the one that is sorry Emily. I let stupid school pranks cloud my judgement of you, and dare I say of your friends too" Severus stood up. He walked to the fireplace and turned to look at her. "What was your answer Emily? When Voldemort asked whether you loved me?"

Emily looked at him. "I did not answer the question Severus. He did not press me on it" Severus smiled and stepped into the fireplace. "Make sure that you say no" Emily watched as he disappeared back to Hogwarts. Of course she would say no. She loved Sirius. But she couldn't let Voldemort know that.

It was the 18th of December and Emily was growing restless. She knew that the Christmas holidays were just around the corner and was looking forward to visiting Sirius. She had managed to speak to him via Floo Powder 2 weeks ago, and she missed him more than ever. He was miserable, and she could understand why. He was cooped up in the house alone with only Kreacher for company, that would be enough to drive even Emily stir crazy.

As she pottered about wrapping her final presents, she heard a knock on the door. She wandered through and wondered who it could be. Opening it slightly she saw Severus, he was wearing a frown on his face.

"Severus, you're back home early" Emily opened the door wider to allow him in. "And why did you not use your key?"

He said nothing as he skulked past her, she rolled her eyes at his back. Following him into the living room, she saw him snorting at the sight of the Christmas presents strewn across the table.

"Severus?" He looked at her before pouring a glass of Fire-Whiskey, he headed to the armchair. Emily stood with her arms crossed. "Fine! Don't talk to me, like I could care less anyway! Just so you know, I'm going to Sirius' for Christmas Day..." He turned to look at her. She put her hand up to stop him talking. "I don't care what you have to say. I've already informed Voldemort of my plan to see Harry on Christmas Day"

Severus frowned at her. Emily ignored him and turned her attention back to the presents.

"What did he say?" Emily smiled, she knew she would provoke a reaction from him somehow. Turning to him. "It was his idea actually"

"Completely?"

Emily rolled her eyes. "Yes"

Severus stood up and walked over to her. He touched her arm, she turned to look at him. "Please be careful Emily. You know what Lucius said to me about whispering in Voldemort's ear" She smiled back at him. "Honestly Severus, it was his idea. If he hadn't of suggested it, I wouldn't be going"

Severus frowned slightly. "Really? You would wish to spend Christmas with me?" Emily laughed. "You make it sound like something bad Severus!" Severus turned and walked back to the armchair. "Well Christmas has never been my favourite time of year. Even when I was a child"

Emily stood in silence, unsure of what to say. Lily's words came to her mind. She suddenly smiled and searched through the pile of already wrapped presents. Pulling out a small package she walked over to him, putting it onto his lap. "I got you a present"

Severus looked at it then up at her.

"You don't have to say Thank you, or even get me one. Just take it for what it is. A token of my appreciation at Christmas"

He picked it up and squeezed it, Emily could see he was clearly intrigued as to what it was.

"No opening it until the 25th though!"

He looked at her and allowed a small smile to cross his face. "I promise I won't"

"Good!"

It was Christmas morning and Emily was getting herself changed. She checked that she had everything in order and then headed downstairs. Severus was already up and in the kitchen making breakfast. He smiled as he saw her walking into the room. "Good Morning Emily"

"Merry Christmas Severus"

He raised an eyebrow with a smile. "That as well" Emily chuckled. "I'm going to head off now Severus. I shall be back before it's too late" Severus tried to hide the slight disappointment he felt at this. "OK, I shall see you when you return then" Emily smiled. She was so happy that she did not hear the sad tone of his voice. She was going to see Sirius.

Severus watched as she left with her many presents she was carrying. He ate his breakfast and wandered through to the living room. There on the table was a miniature Christmas Tree, he smiled when he realised that Emily must have done that before she had left. Under the tree was the present she had brought for him, he noticed that it was now decorated with a bow and a letter sat by the side of it. Reaching out he lifted the letter up. He recognised Emily's handwriting. He opened it and sat down to read it.

_**Dear Severus,**_

_**I know that Christmas is not your favourite time of year, but I wanted to let you know that this will be one of my happiest. I want you to know why. I have my friends back, and have even gained a few more. Lily's greatest wish was for me to give you a chance. She always told me that you were a good person, and at the time I never saw it. I refused to see it. Despite our differences, I now see that she was right. I hope that she is now smiling in knowing that I count you as a friend Severus. I hope that you may call me a friend also.**_

_**Sincerely Emily.**_

Severus smiled. He did not realise that Emily counted him as a friend, but he was indeed happy to have a friendship with her. He stood back up and went to open his present. He smiled as he saw that it was a small book. 'Emily Bronte: Poems'

He suddenly felt a small pang of guilt, he had not brought her a gift. Perhaps he had enough time before she got back?


	11. Chapter 11

**Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

* * *

Emily climbed up the steps and struggled to knock the door. To her surprise Hermione opened the door. "Hello Professor Dawson" Emily smiled. Shifting the pile of presents in her arms. "Hermione you do not have to call me Professor, I no longer hold that position. You may call me Emily. But first, could you help me with these?"

Hermione grinned and grabbed a few of the presents from the top of the pile. Emily stepped into the house, she was surprised to find it looked lighter and cleaner. She followed Hermione into the kitchen where she could see a massive Christmas Tree had been placed. An enchanted Santa was flying around the room on a miniature broomstick, Emily chuckled as she had to dodge out of the way as it flew past her head.

Hermione sighed. "Fred and George have been driving us nuts with that thing!" Emily smiled at her. "I think it's wonderful"

"You always had a passion for Christmas Emily" Emily turned to see Sirius. She placed the presents on the table and walked over to him. Smiling at one another before she kissed him. "Merry Christmas Sirius"

"Merry Christmas Em"

Hermione cleared her throat as though trying to remind them she was there. Emily chuckled. "I'm sorry Hermione. We did not mean to embarrass you" Sirius grinned at Emily. The peace was soon broken as the Weasley Twins suddenly apparated behind Emily, taking her completely by surprise. Sirius however just smiled and rolled his eyes. Emily poked him. "I remember what you and James were like as soon as you could apparate Mr!" He chuckled.

"Hello Professor!"

"Getting a good snog under the mistletoe are we?"

"Yeah. We tried to get a kiss from Kreacher"

"But I don't think he was impressed!"

"Either that or he just doesn't like you Fred"

"No, he definitely hates you George. He told me earlier" Emily listened in amusement as the twins chattered on and on about who Kreacher hated the most. Sirius sighed. Emily turned to him. "Well, at least you haven't been alone Sirius" He looked at her intently. "I feel alone without you Patch..." Emily lent forwards and kissed him gently. "Well I'm here now"

Emily watched as the rest of the Weasleys made their way into the kitchen. She gasped when she saw Arthur. She saw them giving a toast to Harry. Sirius spoke up. "If it wasn't for Harry, he would be dead Emily"

"What happened?"

"He was attacked, whilst guarding the Hall of Prophecy"

Emily's eyes widened. "I did not know... why did I not know?" Sirius put a hand on her shoulder. "Do not worry yourself over it now. Let us eat and be merry. Agreed?" Emily gave him a small smile. "Agreed"

Later in the afternoon Sirius and Emily were sat in the kitchen alone. She reached over and handed him his present. He looked at it and smiled. "Do I dare open it?" Emily chuckled. "It's nothing bad Sirius. I promise!"

He slowly unwrapped it, glancing up at her with a smile. She watched him, hoping he would like it. As his eyes fell on it she saw that he did. He looked up at her and his eyes sparkled with tears. She smiled at him and he smiled back. It was a painting of Sirius and herself. "It's perfect Emily. Thank you. I shall put it in my room immediately" He rose from the table and she followed him. Once inside his room he walked over to his dressing table and placed it down.

He stood next to her looking at it. "I always told you you had a gift for art" She smiled. "I'm glad you like it" He put his arms around her. "I love it" He pulled away from her and smiled. "Now time for my gift to you..." He knelt down in front of her and took out a small box. "I thought I would do this properly" He grinned at her. She felt her cheeks flushing. He opened the box and there sat a beautiful ring made from Goblin's silver. It was encrusted with diamonds and a large Pearl sat in the centre. She smiled, her birthstone. "Will you marry me Emily?"

She laughed. "I think I already said yes" He grinned and delicately placed the ring on her finger. Emily admired it for a while, but suddenly frowned. Sirius stood up. "What's wrong, do you not like it?" Emily looked at and smiled softly. "I love it Sirius, but I will not be able to wear it as much as I would like..."

He sighed. "For a moment I had forgotten... I allowed myself to dream..."

"A dream that will carry us both through the dark nights Sirius" Emily placed a hand on his cheek, stroking it. He closed his eyes and sighed with contentment. He opened his eyes and Emily saw the mischief that lay in his grey eyes. "How long do we have before you must return to Snivellus' house?"

Emily chuckled. "I haven't heard that name for a long time!" He grinned at her. She sighed. "A few more hours I guess..."

"Good!" Emily screamed as he picked her up and took her to the bed. Both of them laughing and happy.

Emily sighed as she stood outside of Severus' house. She took one last look at the ring on her finger before slipping it off and putting it in her pocket. She knew that Severus would not be pleased to see her flashing it about. She took out the key to his house and silently opened the door. Stepping in, she stamped the light dusting of snow from her feet. She sighed as she took off her cloak and hung it up, she was tired, but happy nonetheless.

Seeing the lights on in the living room she headed in, expecting to see Severus, no doubt in a foul mood. However the room was empty. She glanced over to the small tree that she had put up earlier, surprised to see it there still. Her eyes were suddenly drawn to a small box lying underneath it. That was not her present for Severus, and it certainly had not been there this morning. Curiosity got the better of her and she wandered over to it. Picking it up, she read the label.

"_**To Emily. Merry Christmas. Severus"**_

She smiled. She was puzzled with what he might have gotten her. But also by the fact that he had got her anything. She sat down in the armchair and slowly unwrapped it. She gasped. It was beautiful. There lay a brooch. It was so intricate that Emily was almost afraid to touch it. It was her initials, set in diamonds. Emily was touched that Severus would do this for her. He had obviously gone into great thought to get her such a personal gift.

"Do you like it?" Emily started at the sound of his voice, he was watching from the doorway. She smiled and nodded. "It's beautiful Severus. Thank you" He nodded and left the room. Emily returned her gaze to the brooch. It truly was beautiful.

Severus lent up against the wall. He was smiling. This was his happiest Christmas ever.


	12. Chapter 12

**Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

* * *

"Then when he didn't think Minerva was looking he threw at him!"

Severus chuckled. Emily was laughing and Severus could see she was enjoying telling him this story. They had spent the day relaxing and after enjoying a hearty dinner they were sat in front of the fire sharing a drink. Severus felt like they had been friends for years. It felt good to be able to fully relax with someone.

"Of course Minerva saw him and that's how he ended up with a month's worth of detention..."

Emily looked at Severus, she was surprised to see him smiling at her story. Normally the mere mention of her friends antics made him scowl and ignore her. Now she could see he wanted to hear her stories, and it pleased her. Severus got up and walked over to refill his glass, deciding instead to bring the bottle over to them. He filled Emily's glass first and then his own before settling back into his seat. He looked at Emily. "So how did you all get your nick names?"

Emily smiled. "I think you can guess for the most part..." Severus nodded. "Well they do lack a certain element of intelligence I must admit..." Emily frowned but when she saw the small smile on his lips she realised he was teasing.

"But what about yours Emily. Why Patch? And why is it only Sirius calls you it?"

Emily blushed slightly. "You really want to know?" He took a sip of his drink and nodded. Emily took a deep breath. "Well it all started when we were thinking of their names. We were brainstorming ideas for Sirius, and I suggested Patch"

Severus frowned. He was clearly confused. Emily smiled and continued. "When I was a child we had a dog. Quite similar to Sirius' animagus. His name was Patch..."

"And you loved this dog, no doubt" Emily nodded. Blushing deeper. "James said no though. So they settled for Padfoot. Sirius liked my suggestion and decided it should be mine"

Severus looked into the fire. He sighed. "I wish that for one day I could experience what it was like to have had the childhood you did Emily. To have been surrounded with love" Emily started at his words, but sat quietly. "Lily used to tell me things..."

Severus turned to her, a look of shock on his face.

"Nothing bad. She told me you didn't have an easy life at home"

Severus returned his gaze to the fire. "No. I did not" Emily was about to speak again when they both felt pain in their arms. Severus sighed. "Our duty awaits us Emily" She sighed. "Indeed"

They stood up and Emily took hold of Severus' arm. Apparating to Malfoy Manor. Emily led the way up to the great house. This time the door was opened by Draco. He seemed extremely surprised to see Emily and especially when he saw her accompanied by Severus. Severus simply nodded to the boy and muttered a greeting to him.

"Draco"

Draco nodded in reply. "Professor"

Emily followed Severus into the house. The sight that met her eyes was not one she hoped to ever see. Bellatrix Lestrange. The witch scowled as soon as she set eyes on Emily, stalking over to her.

"Why is there a Mudblood in this house?" Her voice was almost a screech. Severus stood by Emily's side. Emily stood her ground and looked impassively at her. Every fibre in Emily's body was telling her to take out her wand, but she remained calm.

"She is here by my invitation Bellatrix" Voldemort's voice floated over to them. Severus bowed to Voldemort, as did Emily. Bellatrix didn't take her eyes off of Emily. "My Lord?"

Voldemort walked over to them. "She is, if I may dare say. A friend to our cause. I feel as though Emily has been a part of our family for years..."

Bellatrix snorted. "She's a spy!" Voldemort smiled. "Indeed she is. For us" Voldemort turned and took a seat at the far end of the table situated in the room. Severus took Emily's arm and guided her to a seat next to him.

"Now that we are all here. I wish to welcome back a few of our great and loyal friends..." The Death Eaters all started to cheer. Voldemort smiled. "The time has come my friends to finish what we started all of those years ago..." There came a loud banging of the table as some of the Death Eaters smacked their hands on its surface in agreement. Emily looked at Voldemort. He was revelling in this. His confidence oozing out across the room. "When we obtain the prophecy. I will destroy Harry Potter and there will be nothing to stop us..."

The room erupted with cheering and shouting. Severus and Emily sat in silence, keeping their attention on Voldemort. Emily was numb.

"Severus. I wish to speak to you alone" Voldemort stood up from the table and motioned for Severus to follow him. Severus nodded to Emily before following in the Dark Lords footsteps. Emily sat there for a few minutes in silence, unsure of what to do. That is until she felt a smack on the table gaining her full attention. Bellatrix was leaning over the table at her. She was glaring at Emily through her hooded eyelids. "I don't like you mudblood"

Emily took a deep breath and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Bellatrix leaned further towards Emily. "You might have him fooled. But I see right through you" Her voice was a whisper. Emily raised an eyebrow at Bellatrix and slowly stood up, leaning over the table to look her straight in the eyes. "Are you questioning the Dark Lord's authority Bellatrix?" Bellatrix looked slightly put out. "No!"

"Good. Because I would hate to think that you were insinuating that the Dark Lord is easily fooled" A few of the Death Eaters who were within earshot started to chuckle at Emily's words. Bellatrix squinted her eyes at Emily. "I'm watching you mudblood!" Emily scowled at Bellatrix. "Are you threatening me?" Emily stood up and crossed her arms. "Because I think I can take you Bellatrix"

Now there was a louder chuckle from the now large group of Death Eaters. Bellatrix stood up and reached for her wand. Emily had hers out as well.

"What is going on?" Emily looked to see Voldemort stalking over to them both. She put her wand away and bowed to him. Bellatrix doing the same. "I do hope that you are not arguing? I would hate to see the two prettiest women trying to kill one another..."

A chuckle rose in the room, with a few whistles. This made Emily blush slightly. Bellatrix stood wearing the look of a sulking child. Voldemort walked over to her and stared deeply into her eye's. "Emily is a fine asset to our ranks. I will not have my decision questioned Bella!" He turned from her, a look of sheer anger on his face. Bellatrix looked like a scolded child. "I'm sorry My Lord"

Voldemort's face softened. "All is well Bella. All is well. Everyone may go" Emily watched as he swept out of the room. Severus came and stood beside her. "Are you ready to leave Emily?" She nodded. Apparating back to Severus' house she couldn't help but start to pace backwards and forwards. Severus watched her with slight amusement. "Bellatrix Lestrange is an infuriating woman, isn't she?"

Emily stopped for a moment and looked at him. "Severus you don't understand. When Voldemort was defeated, and Sirius was arrested. I went into hiding, do you remember?" Severus frowned slightly but nodded. He did remember. "Frank and Alice, they took me in. I was there Severus, that night when they came. I watched as they were tortured. I will never forgive her. I should have killed her that night. How the bloody hell did she get out?"

Severus walked over to her. He put his hands on her shoulders. "It does not matter. All that matters is that you keep focused on the job at hand. There will be plenty of time for revenge. But now is not the time Emily" Emily looked at him, the anger slightly subsiding. It was soon replaced with small tears. "I can still hear their screams Severus"

Severus felt the strongest urge to hug her, but he did not know how. He felt awkward, unsure of how to comfort her. Emily looked away and shrugged. "You're right though. Now is not the time to dwell on the past" She half smiled at him. "Goodnight Severus"

"Goodnight Emily" He watched as she climbed the stairs. She was strong. She would be successful in this mission. Of that he was sure.


	13. Chapter 13

**Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

* * *

"Sirius, you must be patient... please do not do anything... stupid"

"Emily. I can not sit here and do nothing. I did that for twelve years already!"

"I know..." Emily sighed and looked down at the floor. "But I don't want you putting yourself in danger any more than is necessary Sirius. The rest of the Order are doing their best..."

"Well it's not good enough! Harry is in grave danger. How can we trust Severus completely anyway? How do we know he is not strengthening the link between Voldemort and Harry as we speak?"

"No Sirius! I trust Severus. He would not do anything to harm Harry... Never!"

Sirius looked slightly shocked at Emily's words. "You trust him?" Emily nodded. "I do" Sirius sighed. "I admire you for that Emily. But I get the feeling that you being at his house is clouding your judgement over him. Do not forget what he did. What he said. Never forget it"

Emily groaned in frustration. "Do you honestly think that I can? Do you think I don't sit here hour after hour replaying those days in my mind? Yes, being here has made me see him in a different light Sirius. A good light. He is a brave man, a good man. I see what Lily saw all those years before. I know what he has gone through for the past fifteen years. That is what makes me say that I trust him, as Dumbledore trusts him"

Sirius shook his head and sighed. "I want you back here Emily. I don't like what is happening to you. Ever since you got that damned Mark, I've seen the change in you. You barely contact me any more. And now you are starting to trust and dare I say like a man, who less than a year ago you could barely stand the sight of. Why?"

Emily glared at him. "You know that it is not easy for me to contact you. You knew that from the beginning Sirius. It's not like I can just swan off as and when I choose to. I don't want to be here any more than you want it. But I have a mission to complete, and complete it I will. With or without your approval!"

Sirius' face softened. "I'm sorry Emily. I didn't mean to upset you. I miss you is all. I just feel like I'm losing you all over again..." Emily sighed. "I'm sorry too. I'm doing this for Harry. For James and Lily. For everyone that Voldemort has seen fit to destroy. Soon Sirius, we shall be together and be married. It is the only light thing in my life and it keeps the dark thoughts away at night"

"I love you"

Emily smiled. "I love you more..." Sirius grinned. "No you don't!" Emily laughed at him.

"Emily, promise me that you will talk to me soon... please?"

Emily nodded. "I will, so long as you promise to stay put and let the others deal with this..." Sirius was quiet for a long time, before speaking. "I promise"

After saying their goodbyes, Emily watched as Sirius' face disappeared from the fireplace. Sighing, she stood up and paced over to the fire-Whiskey, she was going to have to stop drinking so much of this stuff. Pouring a large glass she sat down with a huff in what was fast becoming 'her' armchair. She scowled at the memory of Sirius' words about Severus. Despite her best efforts he was not prepared to let the past lie. A fact that was becoming a sore point with her.

She gazed at the clock and sighed. 10pm already. Emily was fast becoming a night owl, finding it virtually impossible to sleep at night. Made worse by the fact that the majority of the Death Eater meetings were normally held at ridiculous hours during the night. She stood up and started pacing. She wandered over to the bookcase, glancing at all the titles. She willed herself to pick one and immerse herself within it, but she found no comfort. She needed to get out of this house, clear her head and think. To be in the company of people who would make her laugh. She sighed. 'I can't go anywhere. I'm trapped' she thought to herself.

She closed her eyes and thought of Sirius' smiling face. She thought of Remus and the long walks they would take. Anything to try and lift her mood. Sirius was right, she had changed and even Emily could feel it. The darkness that she felt every time she was summoned, the evil thoughts that she felt from each of the Death Eaters that she came into contact with. It was like each and every one of them were Dementors, intent on sucking out every last piece of happiness. She kept her eyes closed, trying to fill her head with happy thoughts, but every time she found one it was quickly replaced with darkness. Like someone blowing a candle out and taking her happy memories with it.

She fell to her knees and started to cry. She hated being here, she hated being alone. She hated not having Sirius or Remus to talk to as and when she wanted. She hated that she had this bloody Dark Mark on her arm and was being used as a puppet. Not just by Voldemort, but by Dumbledore as well. She wished for one bleak moment that she was dead. Like Lily. She was becoming unravelled, and she didn't know what to do. She sat down and wrapped her arms around her legs, trying to hug herself back to normality. She didn't register the flash of green light emanating from the fireplace. She didn't realise that anyone was there until she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Emily?" Emily looked up, her eyes red and puffy. 'How did he know that I needed him?' She stood up and threw her arms around him. "How?" She asked him quietly. He chuckled lightly. "Well all I can say is, and I can't believe I'm saying this. I owe Severus" He pulled away from Emily's embrace and touched her face. "I knew that something wasn't right. So I got in contact with Dumbledore straight away. He asked Severus' permission to open the Floo Network, just this once. For us"

She smiled at him. "I'm glad you're here"

"Me too Patch. Me too"

She lent forwards and kissed him and suddenly she was filled with such happiness. All of the dark thoughts were gone. 'I have Sirius with me' she thought with a smile. And as far as Emily was concerned, that was all that mattered.


	14. Chapter 14

**Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

* * *

"He saw what? You're only just telling me this now?" Emily practically screamed at Severus. He raised an eyebrow at her but maintained his usual cold demeanour.

"Emily. I have informed the Order. I'm sure you will find that Sirius is safe..."

Emily turned on Snape. "Do you not believe Harry?" Snape sighed. "Our lessons in Occlumency have not been as successful as Dumbledore would have hoped. I'm confident that Voldemort has realised the connection he has with Potter"

Emily groaned. "But you don't know for sure?" Severus shifted uncomfortably under Emily's scrutinising gaze. "No... I do not know for sure"

"I have to go and see Severus. If he is in danger I need to help him..." Emily headed out of the living room and grabbed her cloak, before finding Severus standing in her way.

"Severus... move out of my way"

Severus stood up taller. "That is not going to happen Emily"

Emily tried to push him out of her way, but he simply grabbed hold of her arms and dragged her into the living room, forcing her to sit in the armchair. Emily landed with such a force it took her breath away. She sat there glowering at Severus who had a similar expression on his face.

"I will not have you put your life in danger, not to mention my own. If you go running to see Sirius, you will be caught. We will be discovered. If he has been captured, there is nothing you can do to help him. You and I both know that Sirius will do nothing to endanger anyone. He would rather die than betray anyone"

Severus turned away from her. "You must maintain your cover Emily. No matter what happens..."

"I can't lose him too... I won't!" Emily made to stand up from the seat. Severus spun around his wand out. "I'm sorry Emily..." Emily looked scared. "S-Severus... what are you doing?"

"I'm doing this for your own good..."

Emily sat back down on the seat. Her face full of fear. "Are you going to kill me?" Severus looked shocked. "Kill you? No Emily. I just want you to stay safe..."

"The only way that you can stop me is by killing me Severus. I've made my decision and Sirius is more important to me..."

Severus sniffed. "There are other ways to stop you Emily..." Emily stood up and walked towards him. "You wouldn't attack me, not when I do not have my wand Severus. You and I both know that..." Severus rolled his eyes at her. "Clearly you do not know me well enough... Stupefy!"

Severus stepped forwards to catch Emily's falling form. He sighed as he effortlessly sat her down on the armchair. It would only keep her here for a short while. He just hoped she would understand why he was doing this. After everything they had both been through on this mission, he did not want her ruining everything they had achieved.

Emily was pacing. She was angry. Very angry. She had spoken to Sirius. The Order had been informed about Harry and his friends going to rescue a supposed captured Sirius from the Department of Mysteries. She was stuck here. Unable to join them, but worst of all, Sirius was going. He had looked happy that finally he would be allowed to partake in something. Seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours as Emily continued pacing, waiting to hear something, anything.

Severus sighed and tried to compose himself before walking into the house. He walked through and saw the light on in the living room, catching the sight of Emily's shadow crossing the doorway he knew she had heard him. He calmly walked into the room. Emily was stood there wringing her hands, worry written all over her face.

"Well?"

Severus suddenly wished he was anywhere but here. He didn't know how to tell her. Emily narrowed her eyes at him. "Severus?"

Severus took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Emily..."

"About what?"

"Sirius is dead..."

Emily's eyes opened in shock before she launched herself at him. She began to beat her fists against his chest; half screaming, half crying. He stood there and took it. He understood her pain.

"Why didn't you let me go? He wouldn't be dead now... It's all your fault!" She screamed at him. Then she threw her arms around him, his shoulder stifling her sobs. Severus closed his eyes and put his hands onto her back. He held her while she sobbed her heart out.

"I really am sorry Emily..." He felt the tiny pin pricks of hot tears rising in his eyes as he listened to her heart breaking. It sounded like she was dying and it pulled at something inside him.

Two hours later Emily had cried herself asleep. As she slept in the armchair Severus watched over her. He did not know what this was going to do to her. He was worried about how she would cope when surrounded by Death Eaters. Especially Bellatrix. He sipped on his Fire-Whiskey and sighed. It had surprised him how sad he had genuinely felt on hearing of Sirius' death. But seeing Emily, having to be the one to break the news to her had been the worst part. He glanced over at her, hearing her sighing in her sleep. That was when he caught sight of her ring. She must have fallen asleep holding it. He stood up and went to look at it closely. It was beautiful, most likely expensive. In everything that had happened he had almost forgotten that she had gotten engaged to Sirius.

Sirius was standing in front of her. She reached out to him, he held onto her hands. "Sirius... why?"

"It was my time Patch..."

Emily felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. Sirius stepped forwards and brushed them away with a small smile. "I'll wait for you... until I can be with you forever"

Emily shook her head. "I want to be with you now..."

Sirius held her in his arms. "It's not your time yet. You have important things to do. Harry needs you more than me my love..."

Emily thought of Harry. She realised that he was right. "What am I going to do without you?" He looked down at her and smiled. His eyes sparkling. "Live Emily" It started to get darker and Emily looked around in fear. "Sirius?" He smiled. "I have to go now..."

He kissed her and slowly started to walk away from her. He turned to look at her one last time. "Happy Birthday Emily..."

Then he was gone. And already the world felt a lot less beautiful.


	15. Chapter 15

**If you've enjoyed reading this and would like to continue with Emily's story - the 3rd and final part is called To Live Is The Hardest Choice To Make. Please R&R. Many Thanks Cezz2010 :)**

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Emily sat looking at Harry who was staring into the great fire that stood in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place. She watched his face as it transitioned through the emotions he was feeling. She looked across at Dumbledore. He simply looked at her with a pacifying look. A look that sometimes led one to believe was uncaring, but Emily knew better. She took a deep breath and lent over the table. "Harry... did you hear what Dumbledore said?"

Harry slowly turned his face to her, she could see that he had arrived at the anger emotion. He nodded and looked down at the table. "I don't want this house... I don't want anything to do with it. Not now. Not now he isn't here any more..."

Emily closed her eyes and she saw Sirius grinning at her. Quickly she opened her eyes. She wanted to see him again. She sighed. She wished that she could grieve normally for the man that she loved, but she was unable to do so. Harry felt a lot of things, feelings Emily wanted to feel. Emily however felt nothing. She had to agree with Harry though, this house meant nothing to her either, not now that Sirius no longer lived there. She turned to Dumbledore. "Perhaps, with Harry's permission, the house could remain as the Headquarters for the Order?"

Harry looked up. "Yes. That's what I want. Can I do that Professor?" He glanced at Dumbledore as though asking for his approval. Dumbledore smiled slightly. "Harry. You can do whatever you wish. This house belongs to you now. There is however, another decision you must make..."

Harry sighed and looked over at Kreacher. The elf was staring at them with hate in his eyes. Emily stood up and walked over to the elf, his eyes narrowing at her close proximity. "What to do with you..."

"I want nothing to do with that thing!" Harry shouted as he stood up with a force that knocked his seat to the ground. Kreacher flinched at the sound the chair made as it echoed around the kitchen. Emily turned to Harry to see his face was wrought with such anger. 'Oh how I wish I could feel that' she mused to herself.

She turned back to Kreacher who had resumed his suspicious glare at Emily. "Well Harry, we can not free him" She turned back to Harry and Dumbledore. The latter of which was now looking almost as suspicious as Kreacher himself. Harry shrugged at her. "And why not?"

"He knows too much. He wouldn't have been able to betray Sirius otherwise... he is a danger to each and every member of the Order. If he was freed, he would only inform Voldemort of everything he knows..."

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Perhaps Kreacher should not be judged entirely on his recent activities. After all, he did not inform them about you Emily"

Emily stood there contemplating Dumbledore's words. In fact she began to become confused by them. Why hadn't the elf told them about her. She was a 'mudblood' in his eyes, and would have delighted in telling Bellatrix about her engagement with Sirius. The fact that she was not the person they thought she was. She turned around to look at the elf, who had seemed to almost blush. She knelt down in front of Kreacher. "Why?"

He sniffed and stood tall in front of her. "I will not tell you Mudblood..." Emily sighed and stood up. "I still say we don't know the potential risk he poses"

Harry looked at his headmaster. "Professor. Would it be possible for Kreacher to work at Hogwarts? That way I wouldn't have to see him and he would be kept out of temptations way..." Emily smiled. "What a great idea Harry!"

Dumbledore thought for a long time before finally giving his answer. "It would seem that this is the wise decision Harry. I will see to it that Kreacher can join the other House elves at Hogwarts" Dumbledore rose from his chair and motioned for Emily to follow him out of the kitchen.

Harry watched as Emily swept past him, giving him a little smile as she did so.

"Emily. What I'm about to say, will no doubt, anger you. I do not wish for you to have any further contact with Harry from this day forwards"

Emily shook her head in shock and confusion. "Why not?" Dumbledore sighed. "Emily. You're closeness to Voldemort puts yourself, but more importantly Harry at risk. If you continue to contact him, continue to maintain a relationship, then it could mean Harry losing you. Sirius was the closest thing to a parent that Harry has ever known..."

"Which is why I want to keep in contact with him Albus... I am his God-mother after all!" Emily snapped at the aged Wizard. Dumbledore sighed. He looked at her in silence. "Emily. When the time comes, you will be able to fulfil that role in it's fullest capacity. Until then, for yours and Harry's safety. You must do as I ask"

Emily looked away from his piercing eyes. Deep down she knew that he was right. She knew that if her close connection to Harry was ever discovered, that she would be killed. That her mission would be for nothing. That Sirius himself would have died for nothing. She looked back at Dumbledore and nodded slowly.

After saying her goodbyes to the Professor she slowly walked back into the kitchen. Harry was sat at the large table staring into the fire. When he heard her approaching he turned and looked at her. Emily went to speak, but he interrupted her. "I know what you're going to say Emily" Emily sat down opposite him with a sigh. "What am I going to say Harry?"

"That I won't see you again. Not until this is all over" Emily stared at him for a long time. She could see how much he had grown since she had first seen him. It pained her to see him going through so much at such a young age. She nodded at him. "Yes. Do you know why?" Harry nodded before looking down at his hands. "I heard what Professor Dumbledore said to you..." He looked up at her. "Why did you not tell me that you were a spy for the Order?"

Emily felt her cheeks burn slightly. "I wanted to Harry. That day at the station when I came to see you. But Sirius wanted me to wait, until I could explain it to you better. Explain what my mission is. Explain why I can't always be there for you. Why I wasn't there to help you fight, to help Sirius..."

Emily looked away from him as she felt a wave of emotion hit her from nowhere. She had fought for the past month to stop the tears, and now, confronted by Harry she could no longer hide her grief. She looked back at him as the tears rolled down her face. "I will do everything in my power to end this as quickly as I can Harry. I want you to know that things are not always what they seem Harry. I will protect you as much as I'm able to, have no doubt in your mind that I will die to protect you..."

Harry slammed his hands on the table and slowly stood up. "Is that what you think I want? That I want everyone I have ever loved to die for me? First my mum and dad. Now Sirius. Who will I have left if you die? No one! I don't want you to die, I want you to live. I want to live with you, I want a family!"

Emily sat and listened to his words before slowly standing up and walking over to him. He watched her, his chest rising and falling from his outburst. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight embrace. He clung onto her tightly. "I want you to stay with me Emily. I'm afraid if you leave here, I will never see you again. I've only just found you... please don't leave me..."

Emily quietly shushed Harry. She rested her chin on his head. "Harry listen to me. I know it must seem like everyone wants to die. That is not true. No one wants to die. But sometimes, they know that it is the only option left for them when trying to protect their loved ones. Your mum and dad knew that in order to protect you, they risked death. They embraced that. As does every single member of this Order, including myself and Sirius. I took this mission to protect you Harry, and there is not a single thing that will ever make me regret that decision. I don't want to leave you and I don't want to die. But I will Harry, if it means keeping you safe. Because I love you that much"

Harry looked up at Emily. "When this is all over, can I still live with you Emily?" Emily smiled down at him, tears still in her eyes. "Nothing would make me happier Harry. Nothing" Emily pulled Harry into a tighter hug and sighed. "I need to go now Harry. I will be missed otherwise. Promise me something though Harry..."

Harry pulled away from her. "What?" She placed a hand on his cheek and smiled. "Remember how much everyone loves you. I'll be thinking of you always" Harry half smiled at her. "OK" Emily picked up her cloak and pulled Harry into a final hug. "Stay safe Harry"

"You too..."

With that she walked out of the kitchen and down the hallway. Every fibre in her being was telling her to forget the mission. To take Harry away with her and forget the war. Stepping outside into the wet London street she took one last look at the house. She had to continue. For the Order. For Lily and James. For Sirius. But more importantly for Harry.

**THE END**


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